My Thoughts
by Deme.P
Summary: First uploaded fic.   Just a story blurb about what Holy Roman Empire might have been thinking. Both endings posted.
1. Chapter 1

I can't believe that I fell so much.

I was once a powerful Empire.

I was winning wars.

I was terribly happy for a while too.

I was living with Austria and his servants.

Two lovely ladies, Ms. Hungary, who often acted like a wife to Mr. Austria.

And a small Italian girl, who stole something really important.

She stole my heart.

She was the northern half of Italy.

She was brought to Mr. Austria's house in the early 900's and since then I had loved her.

She was so sweet.

I can still remember all the things I loved about her.

She was always smiling, what a beautiful smile she had.

She would wear this adorable green dress with a white apron.

She always had her hair pulled back with a white bandana.

There was ALWAYS this one stray curl that would escape the bandana and fly free in the air. So cute.

For being the brave and powerful Holy Roman Empire, I am kind of ashamed to say that I was extremely shy around her.

I could help but blush and run when she so much as said 'hello'.

But we had our moments.

There was that one time when I asked her to teach me to paint.

She held my hand when showing me the proper way to draw a rabbit,

I was so shocked that I bolted from my chair to hide in the house.

As a servant at Mr. Austria's her food wasn't much,

Whenever I saw her wandering around the kitchen looking for more food,

I left out extra food out just for her.

Who knew that potatoes could be considered 'yucky' ?

But besides her strange eating habits, she was an adorable little girl.

Much better than her older brother from what I heard.

She asked me to return safely but now,

I don't know if that's possible.

I lie here now my last thoughts, before my eyes close, are on my little Italy

And how I may never see her again.

Author's Notes: Hi everyone! This is my first uploaded fan-fic. I thought about this when a saw a video Hetalia character theme song video on YouTube where Viva La Vida was used for HRE. Then pop, I wrote this. After editing, I decided it leave it open ended. I have two ideas on how this could end, your reviews will determine if HRE lives or not.

Thank-you in advance if you review. :D


	2. Final thoughts

I can' believe I fell so much.  
>I was strong but now I can barely move.<br>I feel myself growing weaker by the second.  
>"Captain, come here"<br>I hand my final surviving captain a letter.  
>"Please leave and make sure this letter is delivered"<br>He nods and starts for home.  
>I lie back down and allow my thoughts to wander.<br>A small smile creeps across my face as I think of Italy for the last time.  
>~scene change~<br>"Italy please go and clean the front room" Austria shouts.  
>"Hai" I skipped off merrily.<p>

I was waiting for the mail come.  
>I would get a letter from Holy Rome almost every day.<br>It was about time when I finished my chores.  
>Then I heard a knock at the door.<br>I run to the door and pull it open to find a solider in uniform.  
>"Are you Italy?"<br>"Hai" it was a little strange to find a solider in Holy Roman uniforms around here,

Unless was this a letter saying that Holy Rome was coming home soon?  
>I need to get to work baking if he is.<br>"This is for you" The solider handed me a letter with a soft smile.  
>"Good-day" The solider turned and left.<p>

I stood there as I tore open the letter.  
>It was definitely from Holy Rome,<p>

I could recognize his hand writing anywhere.

What I read next changed my life forever,  
>"Dear Italy,<br>If you received this letter that means I've lost the war,  
>I won't be able to return to you like I promised.<br>I'm sorry.  
>I wish you the best as you continue to live your life.<br>I hope you can be happy even though I will not be with you.  
>Yours forever,<br>Holy Roman Empire."  
>My hands began to shake as my eyes drowned in tears<br>I felt my knees collapse under me as begin to cry.  
>Ms. Hungary found me on the floor,<br>my eyes red and puffy.  
>She held me close as I continued to cry.<br>She pulled the letter from my now clenched hands,  
>she called for Mr. Austria.<br>He came running into the room;  
>he read the letter and sat down next to us.<br>All of our hearts broken,  
>our little family destroyed.<br>These where my thoughts as I cried myself to sleep.

A/N: Thanks to my reviews you have no idea how much I squeed when I saw them. Thank You!

I know the reviews were for to HRE to live and don't worry those chapters (planning on making it two chapters) are coming soon it is actually more work than I thought for him to live. Hope to have it up soon.


	3. New Life

A/N: Hi! I kind of forgot to put this on the last two times but I DON'T OWN THE CHARACTERS IN THIS FIC. Well I own Leonard. Thanks to my reviewers!

I can't believe I feel so much.

I went from being a powerful empire,

With vast amounts of land and wealth.

Now I am nothing more than a lowly servant.

In France's house none the less.

I have that brave young solider to thank for that.

I was making my way through my troops,

I was stunned at the similarity between the two of us.

We were even about the same height.

I had grown in size a bit since I left Austria-san's house.

Now I looked like an adult and this human looked like me.

It was rather surprising, but I just went with it.

I would have never asked him to do what he did.

France had wounded me pretty bad,

We were retreating through the forests

France right on my tail and I was sure that he had me cornered.

Then I was pushed to the ground,

Into thick buses, hidden from view.

I heard France cry out

"Ohononon look at the great Holy Roman Empire,

Retreating, down to his last soldiers,

This is the end. I win."

First the sound of a sword swinging down, then

A scream rang threw the air I couldn't believe it

France had thought that the soldier was me.

I heard footsteps walking away from where I was hidden.

"…sir…" It was barely more than a whisper

I crawled out of bush to find him lying there.

Blood pooling around him,

"…sir… are you all right?"

"Yes, thank you, why did you do that?"

I was truly stunned by his actions

"I often… was the one on look-out….

At night… I would hear you…

You would always be…whispering the same name…

'Italy'…. 'Italy'…. I figured that….

'Italy' were special and that you really liked her…

I always wanted… to find someone…. Like that…

Who I could … love and who could love….

Me just the way I…am"

I stared at the man

His word ringing in my ears

"Thank-you for saving me,

Is…is there anything I could do for you?

Anything at all."

His eyes closed for a second

Then looked at me as his eyes slowly glazed over

"Be happy…"

That was it, he was gone.

"Hands up!"

My eyes still full of tears, I look up at the voice

"State your name and rank!"

I knew I couldn't use my real name,

I would be killed; wasting the new life I had been granted

"Leonard, Leonard Romulus, Private"

He grabbed my hands and pulled me away

From the young hero who saved my life.

A/N: I'm going to do one last chapter where HRE meets up with Italy again, just for that happy ending. :D. Hopefully once school ends I'll be able to write more. I'm thinking of doing an APH Marching Band series, not exactly a series but just a number of one-shots that revolve around different Band stories. Do you think that's a good idea?


	4. Home

A/N: I DO NOT OWN HETALIA IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM.

Every day I would clean 'Mr. France's house  
>He would sometimes think that I was who I really was<br>but I always stuck to my story  
>I was now Leonard Romulus<br>but I had to get back to Italy.  
>She was waiting for me,<br>and I was at the point where I no longer cared

How she dressed or looked  
>I just wanted to be with her.<br>So one night when everyone was asleep  
>I snuck out hidden by my black cape<br>I no longer knew how much time had passed  
>since that day when I "died"<br>I walked through Europe for many days  
>sleeping in ditches along the roads<br>Until finally I was home,  
>I was back in Austria-Hungary territory<br>I found my way around to the back of their house  
>hoping I could wash up a bit before meeting them<br>but that wasn't going to happen  
>once I set foot in the back room<br>I found a gun pointed at my face  
>"Who are you and what are you doing in Mr. Austria's house?"<br>It was Ms. Hungary I still remembered her voice  
>slowly I raised my hands to remove my hood<br>I heard a gasp as it fell back  
>"Holy Rome? Is that you?"<br>I nodded and spoke  
>"Yes but please don't alert anyone just yet<br>I was going to make this a surprise..."  
>my words were cut off by a bone crushing hug<br>"We all thought you had died...  
>Ita-chan was distraught when France told us what happened<br>He hasn't been the same since then"  
>oh wow Italy miss...wait did Ms. Hungary say 'he'?<br>"What did you just say?"  
>"I said that Ita-chan hasn't been the same since France said he killed you"<br>"no not that, did you say 'he' when referring to Italy?"  
>"Oh... you've been thinking the same thing as Austria<br>He was under the impression that Ita-chan was a girl too  
>but no Ita-chan is just a really kawaii boy"<p>

She responded with a giggle  
>I didn't understand the cute loving girl<p>

I was in love with all this time  
>was a boy?<br>How could that be?  
>I stood there for a while just thinking<br>"I'll leave you with your thoughts while I get you some fresh clothes"  
>Ms. Hungary left the little room and I just stood there<br>and the more I thought about it  
>the more it made sense.<br>Italy was never very modest  
>and never saw it as a problem<br>when we both fell asleep on the couch.  
>He, it was hard to get used to the idea<br>"Holy Rome" Ms. Hungary called  
>"please come I want to see if these will fit you"<br>I followed her voice down the hall into an adjacent room  
>I found Austria's old clothes a bit small<br>Hungary said she would let them out a bit  
>and she sent me to another room to wash up<br>it was the first time in know how long that I had a real bath  
>It felt good to finally be clean<br>When I finished I just sat on the bed  
>thinking would my feelings for Italy change<p>

Now that I knew he was a 'he'?

I know that it's a sin,

for a man to love another man

but something about it,

Something about the idea of us being together

Seemed so right that it didn't matter.

And God is all forgiving right?

So he should be able to forgive us for our love

Plus doesn't God want all of his children to be happy?

"I'm finished" Ms. Hungary said

She handed me the clothes and told me

"When you're ready we can go"

I was so nervous, as I got dressed

I walked slowly to door of the living room

Ms. Hungary had said she called them in

And that I was to wait for the right moment

I figured I would know it when it happened

Because she then walked in the room

And closed the door behind her.

I heard her say something about their lives changing

She asked if Italy remembered

The saddest moment of his childhood

He stared for a moment, then nodded his head

Then she asked what he would do,

If that moment had been a lie.

"Please Ms. Hungary don't tease me"

I knew it was time.

"It's not a lie" I step into the room

Italy, he was just as I remembered him

His beautiful auburn hair, that one sweet curl

His brown eyes filled with tears,

As he slowly stood up

He walked towards me, hand stretched out

Caressing my face, "I'm really here"

The tears come flooding out,

His arms tight around my neck.

It feels good to be home.

If to get this I had to fall,

Then I don't mind at all

A/N: Finally it took me about a month but I finished this fic. I'm pretty happy with how it turned out and now I hope to have another fic up soon. I have decided to post my APH Band stories now that my marching season about to start. We should have all the music by the end of the school year in late May, I'm so excited and I just can't hide it. Reviews are greatly appreciated! :D

Thanks in advance if you do review!


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